Friday, October 12, 2012

The Infinite Sadness of Selling your Home

Things are moving along with the home sale/purchase process and it’s scary. And sad. This morning I was so sad about leaving our current home. I was sad that soon I wouldn’t hear the sound my feet make on the floors in the morning. Sad about how comfortable my living room is and how nice it is to curl up on the couch. Sad to not hear the kid in the park across the street on the swing set each morning. Sad that we’ll never spend another Christmas or Thanksgiving in our home. We didn’t even know that last year would be our last. Sad about how comfortable in general my home is and how nice it is to come home to. Sad at the thought of not feeling like that in my new home. Sad that we never fully realized the potential of our current home. We could have done so much more with it. It’s a realization we’ve both made recently. Sad about my regular commute changing. Where will I stop for tacos on Fridays now?

I know that all the pieces are finally coming together and for that I should be happy. I’m not though. The other week I spent hours pinning ideas for the new house. I have board for every single room in that house. I was so excited about its potential. Now I’m dreading packing. I’m dreading changing. I’m dreading the construction that will be going on in the house from the second we buy it. I’m dreading all the work that we’ll have to do to make it our home. Our buyer wants to close in 3 weeks! 3 weeks and I could be out of my home. That’s not enough time! How will I get it all packed? How will I find time to enjoy my patio? I won’t even get to see the fall tomatoes in the garden.

I’ve told people lately that I never want to go through this process again. Buying and selling at the same time is miserable. I’ve said this week that I will die in this new house. I better learn to love it because we’ve got another 50 years together this house and I. I’ve been so hot and cold about this whole process I feel like it’s making me bipolar. I’m happy one second and terribly sad the next. John will say it’s all because I don’t like change. I’m a creature of routine and my routine is about to get all screwed up. My center is about to be taken away and moved to a new place. A place that has a platform for my bed to rest on. Hold me.

Just so I don’t end this post on such a terribly sad note (bipolar yes?). I was telling my dad about the new house and when I shared with him the story of the platform bed and the glitter ceiling he went and one upped me. When they were looking for a house in Indiana they saw one that had a round platform in the master. It rotated. I think I would have been forever damaged had my parents bought the house with the rotating bed. Thank you guys for passing on that one, and someone please make sure we have that concrete platform removed before we ever have children.

We you terribly sad when you sold your home? Please tell me it gets easier.

20 comments:

  1. I know what you mean about being sad when you sell your house. We moved 3 years ago when my son was 3 months old. I was excited about our new journey to help friends plant a church but it didn't feel fully right. That was the house I dreamed my children would grow up in. My dream home. Now I feel like maybe I had to move for God to show me that a house is a house and its the people in it that matter.

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  2. I moved from my parent's home to college, and then I moved to my bachelor apartment, and then I moved to my bachelor townhouse, and then I moved to the house I'm in now with my family.

    I can honestly say that I'd do just about anything to never, ever move again . . . but that's because I find the act of moving a pain in the ass. I'm surprisingly adept at not getting too sentimental about cars or houses . . . even now, after my parents' divorce . . . well, my dad kept the childhood home, but it's entirely different. And it doesn't bother me.

    Just think, after the move is all done, and you're with people you love, you'll see that it's "just a house" and that you'll be perfectly happy where you are.

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  3. Hey Faith! We met at book club last month. Congrats on selling your house! I just wanted to answer your question - Yes, it gets easier. We've bought & sold two houses as a married couple, and it was sad both times, saying goodbye to it. I've found, though, that I can be happy wherever my family is, and wherever my stuff is. Especially wherever my Friends dvd's are. I always play them when I am experiencing a scary change of some kind. When I stop the Friends in rotation, I know I've made it through the adjustment. ;) Hope it's all going smoothly for you! Very exciting times!
    Dawn

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  4. Thanks Dawn! It's getting easier as it gets closer - though the packing isn't. We had friends and family over to see the house this weekend so that's made it better too.

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  5. Faith, this article explains my current dilemma right down to the pinterest board, bi-polar behavior and my husbands name is also John. I could have wrote this. We will be singing papers for the new home tonight and I feel extremely emotional today. Can you tell me how things turned out or give me any advice? I love my old house close to downtown but we have been house poor for 5 years and on our mortgage renewal not a lot is changing. We have a good a amount of equity in this place and will be putting a big down payment on this brand new build far from the city. I can't help but feel like we are giving up too easy but staying could mean years more of misery and possibly a divorce. I am so torn...

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  6. Faith, this article explains my current dilemma right down to the pinterest board, bi-polar behavior and my husbands name is also John. I could have wrote this. We will be singing papers for the new home tonight and I feel extremely emotional today. Can you tell me how things turned out or give me any advice? I love my old house close to downtown but we have been house poor for 5 years and on our mortgage renewal not a lot is changing. We have a good a amount of equity in this place and will be putting a big down payment on this brand new build far from the city. I can't help but feel like we are giving up too easy but staying could mean years more of misery and possibly a divorce. I am so torn...

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    1. A year and a half out and I honestly couldn't be happier in our new home! Granted a lot has happened (like having a baby) and that certainly makes things feel a lot more like home. I really do love our new house and look forward to all the new memories it will bring. This year we're doing a lot of projects, but it's just adding to the fun. Our old house was nice, it's where we started, and we'll always have the memory of our first house that we bought. It's hard at first though (and UGH all the paperwork!), but once you're settled and see your new life, it's so much easier. Good luck!

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  7. Thanks for writing this. I loved my last home, and find myself mourning it's loss. I loved every aspect of it, how it looked, smelled, creaked. I feel materialistic for loving an inanimate object. I have a home inspection on a new home tomorrow and just dread it.

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    1. It really does get easier. I love our new home. Change is hard and it's ok to mourn that change.

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    2. Thanks. We are selling now, and this is how I feel, sad for the memories are all that I have left, but excited about what the future brings.

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  8. I know this post was written many years ago but, I am going through the same sadness right now. It's hard for me because I'm losing things in my new home I have in my old and vice versa. Plus, I really do like my current home but, our new home has amazing advantages, obviously or I we wouldn't be considering moving. I'm excited for the new adventure but so sad to leave. We have so many great great memories there. I feel like I'm excited picking tile colors in one moment and crying in the next.

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  9. Living it. I am in love with my house. Only Its time to let go. The kids are grown and I wander around like a ghost. Still its been my home, and I shall miss it with all my heart. I keep praying escrow will fall thru. How bipolar is that?

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  10. our last week in this beautiful home of 28 years. We cleared the land, and built the house one nail, board, room at a time high up on this beautiful ridge. Raised two great sons here. Planted large gardens, lilacs, crabapples. The forsythia and daffodils are golden again. moving to a smaller house in town, something we've been planning for months. ...I'm sure our new life will hold joy, but still so sad to let go.

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  11. I could have written this post myself!
    Selling our first home, where 2 of our 3 girls were born. It's so, so sad! We'll be homeless for 3 month while our new home is being built, ane I think that makes things just THAT more difficult

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  12. Found this post and it describes me to a T right now. I'm on an emotional roller coaster each day. Crying like a baby and then pinning on Pinterest. I feel like I need therapy. Does make me feel better to read that I'm not alone. Anyone still reading this with more updates on their moves went, would love to hear!

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    1. I'm on an emotional roller coaster also. Bought this house 30 yrs ago. Husband and I remodeled it completely by ourselves. Raised two beautiful kids. Now the kids are grown and live far away. We are moving closer to them. I'm excited to be closer to the kids but I love my comfy home and am sick about leaving everything I know.

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  13. I am having a very difficult time. I loved my house. I had been thinking of moving to a new city and town where my sister, whom I raised and her family live. However I have lived in my home town most of my life, about 48 years. This house was perfect for me and it was home. I purchased on my own after becoming unexpectedly single. It was everything I could ever want with perfect location, price and the way it was built. I was blessed with a wonderfully employment opportunity, one I am not sure could have been had in my home town. But, I did not look real hard there. I should have kept it and driven the 1 45 min one way each day. Rentals here are very high and not in good shape. I have decided not to purchase until I see how things will go and I am more familiar with the area. Perhaps I will return home. My house sold quickly, but have told the purchase I would be interested in purchasing back from her if she ever sold. But it would cost me more to buy my house back :-( My emotions are all over the place. I do not think it was a wise move. I had a loss in April 2015, I probable was not ready to make such a decision. Now I feel lost and adrift. Miss my home and all that it was to me.

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  14. Many of these posts are older...but relevant to me. We just sold our home, our wonderful, big, beautiful old home. I spend the days and the nights crying, I am so filled with regret. I thought I was ready to downsize, now I think it was a ridiculous idea. I'd take my home back in heartbeat. I'm so sorry for all the heartache others have experienced, yet I'm relieved to know I'm not alone. I feel downright bipolar, barely functioning each day. This is misery.

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    1. We also sold our "wonderful, big, beautiful old home" to downsize...and I feel like Im going insane. Totally losing it. Why oh why did I sell it??? Im going to have to see a psychiatrist. Im devastated. I agree--misery...

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  15. We're about to list our house of 9 years and I'm so profoundly sad. The husband is very clinical and detached about it. We have to move because he took a job a few counties away with a residency requirement. It's his dream job, and will make him soooo happy. I don't have a dream job, so this is the path forward.

    Our dog is buried in the backyard, and I'm so afraid someone will accidentally dig him up. I finally grew pears in my tree, the herb garden really flourished like a week ago, and we just upgraded everything. This house was a mess when we bought it, but it was ours. We fixed it up, then rennovated it last year, and have had tons of great memories here. I love our little house, I don't want to leave it. I also really don't have a choice in this matter.

    It helps some that I hate the city we live in. It's safe - but stupid and very suburban and the people are the worst. This whole area around our house is saturated with addicts. I would love to move back to a more urban city, but we'll be moving out to a tiny town in the middle of farmland. My parents moved us out of the inner-city because of all the gang/crack violence and onto a farm when I was 10. I hated it. That was a small backwards town with nothing to do, filled with crazy hillbillies. Where we are going to move to is now about 50 miles further out than that town. So that doesn't help.

    We're moving temporarily into the apartment we had before we bought the house. There were a lot of happy times at that apartment. If there hadn't been, I don't think this move would be possible. If I could move our house with us, I would. I've already started packing and patching and walls, but I just cry the whole time. I understand now why old people won't leave their house even when the neighborhood goes bad around them.

    This is such a good spot that we've poured our hearts into, and I don't want to leave this house. Also, my dog is still buried in the backyard, and he just died, so I feel like I'm betraying him somehow. This just sucks.

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