Tuesday, August 07, 2012

True Story Y'all

In yet another feigned attempt at putting my BlogHer12 experience into words I decided to make a new post series. One that will probably be carried over week to week or month to month depending on the type of crazy that happens around here. Because you know what? Sometimes maintaing this here blog is HARD. Sometimes stuff gets boring around here and I have nothing to post. Unless you want to hear how I cleaned my house once again so someone could not come see it. That never gets old.

Craziness though? It happens all the time and never gets old. Usually it happens in bits and pieces. You know those moments. The ones that happen so quickly you really wish you had time to whip out your camera and document it because holy hell THAT WOULD MAKE A GREAT POST. Instead you just end up laughing about it to yourself or to your friends or to your spouse and struggle to find the least amount of words to describe it in a tweet. Almost always you find yourself in that crap situation where you have to determine which grammar sin to commit so you can squeeze out just a few more characters. (u, 2, dont, nghbor)

So I've decided to bring you, True Story Y'all. As in, that shit really just happened. I just didn't have a camera handy, or it was just a bit wrong to actually take a picture of that crazy, but OMG I have to tell people about this.


True Story Y'all - BlogHer12 Edition

And then I saw a lady carrying her dog much like you would a baby. In a sling. Across her chest.

And then at my 3rd event of the night I realized my shirt was on backward.

And then I picked up two new friends in a sex toy shop by suggesting new ways to make penis cupcakes.

And then I talked smack about My Little Ponies to a possible Bronie.

And then I walked into a party and received champagne compliments of the My Little Pony Wedding. And they had a My Little Pony themed drink menu.

And then I rehashed the story to a group of friends I ran in to. Only to turn around and find said possible Bronie sitting within earshot. Actually, she was at my feet.

And then I won a years supply of Jimmy Dean sausage.

And then Jimmy Dean suggested I come by for breakfast following my 4 am I need greasy food stat tweet.

And then some guy tried to take a picture of my boobs and didn't even try to pretend that he was taking a picture of something else. In fact, he waved at me when I called him out.

And then there was a guy on my flight that looked EXACTLY like Santa would if he had gone to Sparklecorn.

And then my connecting flight was delayed 45 minutes because there was a shit back up in the only toilet on the plane.

And then after 5 hours of flight delays my luggage was the first to come out on the carousel.

Do you have a True Story from BlogHer? I'd love to hear them. Link up or leave a comment!


3 comments:

  1. Um, was I the guy who took a picture of your boobs? Because I really don't think I did any such thing, but I have a pretty massive blank spot in my memory from Saturday night.

    I'm still calling shenanigans on the sausage victory . . . is it that you, truly, can order as much sausage as you want? Or have they decided what a year's supply is? Because, for some people, a year's supply of sausage is a whole lot more than it is for other people.

    I thought all of the Bronies were, by definition, male . . . my brother-in-law is one. I'm actually kind-of proud of him for admitting it (he actually went to BronieCon last year).

    And it was truly lovely meeting you.

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  2. It was great to meet you too John! No, you were not the creepy guy taking a picture of my boobs. At least that I'm aware of. I'm pretty sure this guy was a Russian tourist but that's just a guess.

    Unfortunately my year supply of sausage turned out to be 12 coupons. I was totally hoping for an excuse to buy a deep freeze and was going to try my hand at sausage meatloaf.

    Um did you not follow my link to urban dictionary (which is TOTALLY legit and always correct) that a Bronie, while usually male, can also be a woman? From my very short time I spent on the MPL forums until I got scared off, I thought I had always seen in used interchangeably. I could be totally wrong though. Ask your brother and I'd be glad to correct it. Would he like to buy any of my old MLPs?

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  3. I forgot about the dog in the baby sling! I totally spent ten minutes trying to ninja cam that! Because I am pretty sure it was made for a dog, like the logo was a puppy.

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