Sunday, October 16, 2011

Things you don't want to do when catching your flight to Prague

You do not want to put your luggage on the airport transfer bus before you pay. The driver has the tendency to take off with your luggage and without you.

If this happens you will have to take a cab to the airport because there isn't time to catch another bus despite you getting there in time for two possible buses because they're all running late. Your cab fare will cost you more than anything else has on your trip so far.

You will also miss the bus despite your cab driver's best efforts & the bus will return to the garage with your luggage.

However, the other, and much nicer bus drivers will take pity on you, will radio the bus & will get your luggage brought back on another bus.

To ensure you can still make your flight you check at the desk and are told yes. You'll still make it. Little do you know this is a lie.

Because even though your luggage has arrived, you have gotten it on the plane, you are told you can still make it by the airline no one has told you about the security line from hell. It's one where you can multiply the lines at Thanksgiving by 100 except there are more screaming children than grown-ups, every other person speaks a different language & you get stuck behind someone that doesn't understand why they can't bring their just purchased bottle of water through. Finally, just as you're getting through you get selected for an extra search.

You get to the departure gate with enough time to see the terminal number change to Gate Closed. You still try & run through the entire airport to try to get to your gate, the one that no employee actually knows the number to, because
your flight doesn't actually leave for 15 more minutes & you've been assured up to this point that you can make your flight. Only when you do make it you're told no, you can't make your flight. You'd probably cry if you you weren't so exhausted from only 3 hours of sleep & the insanity that has been your morning so far.

As if your day cannot get any worse, it will. You're told to go to the lounge upstairs and wait for someone to come get you. An hour later someone does. They lead you though some back alley way to the check in area. Your mind is absolutely blown that they can't just fix your ticket on this side of the gate and now you will have to go through security hell one more time. If you only knew then that security line hell was the least of your worries.

You're taken to a reservation agent who tells you that you will have to pay a full price fare for the next flight which isn't for another 12 hours. You cannot get a credit for your tickets because you paid so little for them that the fees they would charge are more than what you paid for your ticket. You find out that you will spend more money returning to London to stay the night & flying out on a cheaper flight the next day, but not by much. The price of this flight will rival the cost of your London hotel stay which was more than you EVER wanted to pay & upon arrival you find it is barely suitable to sleep in & they lied about the ammenities on their website. So you decide to bite the bullet, pull out your credit card & buy the ticket. But WAIT. You'll actually need to go to the internet cafe & book online because to book in person will add on what equals to a third overpriced ticket due to ridiculous fees.

Oh and by the way, that luggage that has held you up all morning? Since you didn't get on the plane they actually pulled it off for you. So while you don't have to worry about where in the world your luggage could possibly be for the second time this morning, you can't help but wonder during the 12 hours that you spend in a crappy airport instead of sightseeing in a gorgeous city, that if there was enough time to get your luggage off, then surely there should have been enough time to get you on the plane.

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