Monday, February 16, 2009

Reason #892 why I should not have changed my last name

John's dad was a pastor. Being the pastor and the pastor's family they constantly had church people over on a regular basis and had a lot of bonds and friendships and whatnot with church members. Now, I'm not trying to judge or stereotype any churchgoers or anything, but you know what? There are some crazies out there. Especially in the smaller cities in which John's dad was a pastor. Plus many of them are strangely attracted to the pastor's family.

Well one of those crazies has decided to track down John's family. She found John through myspace and since he never checks his she contacted me. Of course she had to prove to me she wasn't crazy, and instead only proved herself to be crazy. She went as far as talking about her insanely jealous ex that forbid her to talk to John's brother and how losing that contact just broke her heart. She also kept going on and on about how John's parents were like parents to her and his brother and sister were like her own brother and sister. Yeah. J's siblings were like 4 years old and then John's family moved away. John, he wasn't even alive yet. Uh huh....then they didn't see or speak to this lady for like 10 or more years. In fact, it's quite possible his family lived on a whole other continent than this woman.

She also tries to use other names and nicknames for J that I'm pretty sure he's never been called. She also can't spell his sister's name correctly, you know since they were like BFF's, that's like really important and stuff. Plus, if someone hasn't contacted you in 20 years don't you think there's kind of a reason for it?

This weekend she sent me another myspace message saying she's tracked us all down and has our addresses and phone numbers, she even knew what J's dad's current occupation is (pretty sure she used some kind of service). **Insert creepy stabber horror flick music** She even called his brother the other day **more stabber music** I guess we're even because when she sent me - A TOTAL STRANGER - the first message she put ALL of her contact info down as well. Yeah, cuz I like to just send that out to random people I find on the internet. Especially ones I find on myspace cause that site is TOTALLY legit! Actually I take that back. She didn't leave her email address. I mean why would you use the internet to get ahold of someone that you haven't talked to in like 20 years and not give them your email? Because you're crazy and want their information so you can stalk them and their entire family. That's why!

**Faith sleeps with a butter knife under her pillow from this point forward**


  1. Also the daughter-in-law of a small-town me...I KNOW.

  2. Church people are some of the craziest people out there. That's why I only date Athiests.


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