Thursday, June 19, 2008

Conference Goodies

On Saturday I leave to go to this huge conference in Chicago. For the past month I've been receiving all this crap in the mail from the companies that will have booths in the expo hall. No, not EMAIL my green little friends, snail mail. I've gotten at least 100 little flyers in the mail all saying Stop By Our Booth # blah blah blah. Win an Ipod! Win a gas card! Win a giant bag full of crap from my company! I mean really. I want to win a freakin' Ipod so trust me, I will be stopping by. You don't need to snail mail me a freaking flyer that you will again give me when I stop by your booth. Aside from the boring junk I've gotten I got one box (think a box that you would get software in). I got excited. Ohhhh....Ahhhhh! I got a giant box from a company that does rewards and presents for employees. In fact I just heard this company talk at a recent luncheon and the guy gave away awesome stuff just for talking to him. There is going to be something AWESOME in this box! I rip oven the tab and lo and behold there is a small jewelry type box. OHHHHHHH.....it HAS to be good. This is what the guy was giving out at the luncheon. I pull out the box. I open the box. All I get is a freaking piece of paper saying Stop By Our Booth. You bet I will. So I Can Kick Your Ass!

My coworker struts into my office yesterday looking like she had just walked out of a Mardi Gras party. She has the most HIDEOUS set of beads around her neck. I'm like, you have to be joking right? She's all, "you didn't get one?" I'm thinking, "dude! Not FAIR. I want a hideous set of beads too!" Well I lucked out today! Baby, I got my set of beads in the mail. No I did not have to show my tatas. I just had to pay $1,200 and register for a conference. It even came in a little black envelope. Almost what you would expect to receive your porn DVDs in or something. Only, it's not porn, but it's just as ugly:

It says if I stop by their booth wearing this monstrosity I will get my very own Monster Rolling Bag (I have a feeling it will be purple and green) along with a chance to win more prizes (of course only after I watch 2 presentations). We'll see if it makes it into my luggage or not.

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