Friday, May 23, 2008

I think people think I make this stuff up

While sharing my Valter story to a group of people last night I came to the conclusion that they all think I'm overly dramatic and I must make this stuff up. I mean seriously....how do you make something like Valter up? Would you like to come and listen to crazy German man's voicemails? They all pretty much sound the same, but they're still quite entertaining. And if you just CANNOT believe that I would go to some stranger's house that I found in the phone book and knock on their door asking them to please call their crazy German friend and give him their new number you obviously don't know me that well (which folks, is your update on the Valter story. Actually Valter and Janalle weren't home, but they did get a 3 page handwritten letter from some deranged girl that lives in their neighborhood and tracked them down via google maps and the phone book and can be reached via the old phone number should they have any questions).

I mean, yes, during the last month the AC went out in my house, some loser stole my cell phone, in true wedding cliche fashion my car broke down on the way to a wedding reception and the bride's father had to come rescue me, and yes, I was the Reverend at that wedding. That when my car broke down I had to bribe the Whataburger kids to come out and help me push my car into a space and then later bribe the manager to shut down one the the drive thru lanes so I could get it towed out of that space. That when I took my car in to get repaired, I cried at my desk when they told me how much it was going to cost, and cried out to every god (and even karma) out there wanting to know what the hell I did to piss off the universe. That when I picked up my car from the shop, my AC was suddenly NOT WORKING and when I took it in the next day I was told that the guy just sat there and pushed the AC button until it worked. Making it the 2nd time that week I was accused of being one of those stupid girls out there that don't know how to work things (THANK YOU T-mobile guy for showing me how to properly use my cell phone. Even going as far as walking me to the food court to show me how to use that newfangled thing called the In-ter-net). Yes, I'm 26 and I have a bad case of carpal tunnel that may need surgery and am currently in Physical Therapy for it and my SI joint in my back. Just add that to my ever growing bill this month and please remind me to thank good old Uncle Sam, for were it not for my $1,200 "stimulus" check and student loans I could be adding home foreclosure to my ever growing list of things I make up and like to be overly dramatic about.

So yes, my life is how MTV would really like The Hills to be, you know, an "unscripted reality TV program," but it's my life and I've learned to roll with the punches. It's why when I piss off whatever deities there are and karma and who knows what or who else, I'm thankful for things like alchie-hol and happy pills. They're what keep me "stable."

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