Friday, May 30, 2008

Favorite Post Secrets

It's a sad week when I don't have time to check Post Secret until Friday. Here are a few of my faves:

It makes me glad to know I'm not the only person taking pictures of crazy stuff like that.

I wonder if this is the kid that gave me the free shirt the other week at Target. Remember that Erin?


I freaking love this Katy Perry song, I Kissed a Girl. It gets stuck in my head and I sing it to myself during the most inappropriate times. Of course I had to see if there was a video of it and there is. It's every teenage boy's wet dream so I will now share it with you all.

P.S. I get the "taste of her cherry chapstick" stuck in my head along with, "I hope my boyfriend won't mind it" I can't think of any guy that would, especially if you took pictures, video, or better yet - allowed him to be there.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

101 Things in 1001 Days

So I heard about the 101 things in 1001 days challenge and of course I had to Google and find out more about it. I came up with the Day Zero page where it says:

I'm always up for a challenge so I made my list and will be working on it from June 1, 2008 to February 27, 2011.

For My Career
1. Get my PHR certification
2. Keep my Inbox organized
3. Give my career a boost

For My Mind
4. Read 20 books that are not Chic Lit
5. Read all of Jane Austen’s books
Mansfield Park
Pride and Prejudice
Sense and Sensibility
Northanger Abbey
6.Visit 5 Museum Exhibits
7. Visit the Missions
8. Graduate from Grad School
9. Go to a play or musical
10. Go to the symphony

For My Health
11. Lose 20 lbs (0/20)
12. Keep it off
13. Walk dogs at least once a week for 1 year (0/52)
14. Do Pilates 5 days a week for a month (0/20)

For My House

15. Hang curtains in all the rooms
16. Paint the guest room
17. Decorate the guest room
18. Unpack the remaining box in the guest room
19. Get my pictures and albums organized
20. Keep desk clean for 12 months (0/12)
21. Keep my nightstand clean for 12 months (0/12)
22. Clean out my closet
23. Get wedding dress cleaned and do something with it
24. Clean out my dresser
25. Pick up all my old stuff from my parents storage
26. Sort through it and either throw it out or sell it.
27. Get a fireproof safe for important documents
28. Create a will and put it in fireproof safe
29. Touch up the paint in the master bedroom
30. Make or buy a headboard
31. Get an entertainment center for the TV
32. Grow grass in the backyard
33. Make 10 green changes in the house (0/10)
34. Use the patio more
35. Buy a matching plate set

For My Domestic Diva Skills

36. Host a dinner party
37. Try 20 new recipes
38. Take 5 minutes to pick up after myself every day
39. Plant an herb garden
40. Grow 2 vegetable plants
41. Make bread from scratch
42. Make a dessert that is beyond my usual skills and comfort level
43. Buy a house plant and keep it alive

For My Finances
44. Pay off 1 high limit credit card
45. Put that payment money towards another to pay it off faster
46. Pay off my car early
47. Save at least $25 a month for a year in order to start a savings account again
48. Save at least $50 a month the following year.
49. Cut coupons and use them
50. Become knowledgeable about my retirement account

For My Creativity
51. Finish my Austria Scrap Book
52.Make a wedding photo album
53. Teach Riley a new trick
54. Teach Reese a new trick
55. Make a ceramic item
56. Document a whole day each month in photos (0/33)
57. Take pictures of completing my list
58. Blog regularly about my list and in general
59. Share it with more people

For My Skills
60. Learn how to properly use Lightroom
61. Upgrade to Photoshop
62. Buy a digital SLR camera
63. Play my clarinet more

For My Karma
64. Send in a Post Secret
65. Teach someone a new skill
66. Perform 10 Random Acts of Kindness (0/10)
67. Walk for a Cause (of my choosing)
68. Be nice for a week (limited sarcasm, positive comments, no making fun of people)
69. Donate $5 to charity for each thing I don’t complete on my list

For My Relationships
70. Visit Sarah in Houston
71. Take a fun girl’s weekend
72. Spend a day with Josh Jr.
73. Spend a day with Ben +1
74. Host a family event
75. Reconnect with an old friend
76. Go to my 10 year High School Reunion

For John
77. Romantic Date Nights with John (0/10)
78. Play basketball with John (0/10)
79. Join and intramural sports team or league
80. Romantic weekend away with John
81. Throw a 30th birthday party for John
82. Find a Geocash with John

For Fun
83. Go to the Zoo
84. Try 20 new restaurants (0/20)
85. Take a road trip to anywhere
86. Go camping
87. Take a vacation to a new place
88. Host a game night (0/5)
89. Play mini golf
90. Go on a picnic
91. Go to the coast
92. Attend 5 sporting events (0/5)
93. Go to the Aztec Theater
94. Be a San Antonio tourist for the day
95. Buy a BBQ grill and host a BBQ
96. Attend a fair
97. Go to a concert

For Myself
98. Buy an expensive pair of jeans that fit perfectly
99. Get a massage
100. Make an attempt to vote in EVERY election
101. Make a new list when this one is complete

Friday, May 23, 2008

What I'm Lovin' Right Now

Check 'em out at:

I think people think I make this stuff up

While sharing my Valter story to a group of people last night I came to the conclusion that they all think I'm overly dramatic and I must make this stuff up. I mean do you make something like Valter up? Would you like to come and listen to crazy German man's voicemails? They all pretty much sound the same, but they're still quite entertaining. And if you just CANNOT believe that I would go to some stranger's house that I found in the phone book and knock on their door asking them to please call their crazy German friend and give him their new number you obviously don't know me that well (which folks, is your update on the Valter story. Actually Valter and Janalle weren't home, but they did get a 3 page handwritten letter from some deranged girl that lives in their neighborhood and tracked them down via google maps and the phone book and can be reached via the old phone number should they have any questions).

I mean, yes, during the last month the AC went out in my house, some loser stole my cell phone, in true wedding cliche fashion my car broke down on the way to a wedding reception and the bride's father had to come rescue me, and yes, I was the Reverend at that wedding. That when my car broke down I had to bribe the Whataburger kids to come out and help me push my car into a space and then later bribe the manager to shut down one the the drive thru lanes so I could get it towed out of that space. That when I took my car in to get repaired, I cried at my desk when they told me how much it was going to cost, and cried out to every god (and even karma) out there wanting to know what the hell I did to piss off the universe. That when I picked up my car from the shop, my AC was suddenly NOT WORKING and when I took it in the next day I was told that the guy just sat there and pushed the AC button until it worked. Making it the 2nd time that week I was accused of being one of those stupid girls out there that don't know how to work things (THANK YOU T-mobile guy for showing me how to properly use my cell phone. Even going as far as walking me to the food court to show me how to use that newfangled thing called the In-ter-net). Yes, I'm 26 and I have a bad case of carpal tunnel that may need surgery and am currently in Physical Therapy for it and my SI joint in my back. Just add that to my ever growing bill this month and please remind me to thank good old Uncle Sam, for were it not for my $1,200 "stimulus" check and student loans I could be adding home foreclosure to my ever growing list of things I make up and like to be overly dramatic about.

So yes, my life is how MTV would really like The Hills to be, you know, an "unscripted reality TV program," but it's my life and I've learned to roll with the punches. It's why when I piss off whatever deities there are and karma and who knows what or who else, I'm thankful for things like alchie-hol and happy pills. They're what keep me "stable."

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The German Man that Calls My House

At 4 am this morning our home phone rang. Now, the only people with our land line number are telemarketers and our family members. So instantly I wake up with that feeling of dread, feel around for the phone and say finally say, "hello?" The response I get it, "Valter?" UGH! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

The backstory to this is that when we first moved and got our phone installed we started getting these crazy messages on the voicemail from some German guy asking for Walter. I usually just ignored them because all I could make out in German was the name Walter (Valter). Well then the calls started coming while we were home. We would politely tell the gentleman that he had the wrong number and that there was no Walter K. here. Then one day I got a phone call at 7 am (same feeling of dread occurred as it was a Saturday and who the HELL would call me at 7 am on a Saturday). "Valter?" I explain AGAIN that there is no Walter, while the poor man insists that he is coming to see me and knows my father and keeps calling me Janalle (Walter's wife I'm assuming). After arguing with him that he is not coming to see me because he does not know me or my father, he finally asks, "are you sleeping?" I say yes and he hangs up. 8:30 am, phone rings, "Valter?" I again explain that this is not Walter's number, etc. Later that day I got a phone call from this man's son (I'm assuming) and explain that my number is apparently an old number for Walter and Janel. We don't hear from the German for a few months until today.

So at 4 am this morning I'm explaining yet again that I am not Janalle and that there is no Walter there. No, Walter did not move, no we do not know Walter, Walter cannot be reached here, no I do not know where Walter is. Goodbye.

4:15 am, phone rings, "Valter?" Repeat

4:30 am, phone rings, John answers the "Valter?" and tells the guy to stop calling because HE HAS THE WRONG PHONE NUMBER.

5 am, phone rings, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, "Valter?" Me: "LISTEN. THERE IS NO WALTER HERE. THIS IS NO LONGER WALTER'S NUMBER. IT IS 5 O'CLOCK IN THE FREAKING MORNING PLEASE QUIT CALLING THIS NUMBER!!!!" Then a very sweet lady chimes in over the unintelligible German, saying, "thank you." I got back to bed thinking Sweet Jesus it's finally over!

7:30 am, phone rings, "Valter?" Me to myself: "I am going to hunt you down and tear the phone out of your freaking wall, burn your obviously outdated address book and kick your old German ass you stupid motherfucker." To confused German man who should no longer be allowed near a phone and should REALLY examine his relationship with Walter who has obviously not called him in the past 6 months to give him his updated phone number. "Sir. As I explained earlier, this is no longer Walter's phone number. No this is not Janalle. Is that nice lady that was on the phone when you called at 5 am there? No? Is there someone else there (aside from the lady screaming at you in German in the background, unless that's the TV of course)? No? This is a BAD NUMBER for Walter. *DING DING DING* "So I cannot reach Walter at this number." *Praise Jebus!* "No, you cannot reach Valter at this number. Not anymore and not ever again." "Well how do I get to talk to Valter?" "I don't know. Do you know someone else that may also talk to Walkter and have his new phone number?" "Oh yes, perhaps Frank." "Ok, you call Frank and find out how to get ahold of Walter, but you can't do it through this number. This is a bad number." "OK."

I just checked my messages, 8:45 am, "I need to speak to Frank K. as soon as possible. Or Valter K.

UPDATE: I shared this crazy story with my admin and we started looking up good old Walter K. He and his wife Janalle live in my neighborhood. In fact they're right off the main drag. (Thank you white pages and bcad for this information). And YES, you can bet I will be marching my happy little ass right down to Valter's door and having him call his freaking friend already!

Friday, May 16, 2008

A Little Insight into the World of Men

So while I was in class tonight John had one of his man friends (MF) over. I get home and ask, "so what do you and MF do?" He replied, "we played a little Call of Duty, but mainly just talked." I'm thinking talked? Is THAT what guys do? To keep MF anonymous I will leave out the details of what they talked about. I say to him (sarcastically), "Wow. Sounds like you guys had a load of fun." He's like, "yeah well it was cool. Oh yeah, MF also took some of my porn." Me: "What? You guys watched porn together?" I'm informed that NO guys do not watch porn together, but that MF brought over his own hard drive to copy John's porn on to. I say, "so guys share their porn?" I'm informed that, "hell yeah we do!" I say, "that's just weird." I'm told that one day MF came over and brought a jump drive that had some porn on it. He offered it up, John said, "hell yeah I'll take it if it's good." It was then discovered by MF that my husband watches quite a bit of porn and has a large collection. Apparantly it's so large (and kept in a folder on his computer that says, Do Not Open. This by the way was upgraded from a CD called Heavy Metal Hits) that MF had to bring his own hard drive to fit it all on. Me, I'm still thinking this is pretty freaking weird and cannot come up with a SINGLE thing that girls share that could compare to this when I'm told, "Well porn can be a little risky to download and so when a guy has a lot of it he shares it. It's like, hey man, I've got a fridge full of free beer! Why don't you come over and have some." Yeah. I'm still not understanding this one....

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Recent Events In Pictures

May started off innocently enough with Julie's Bday

followed by Girl's Night Out

Where we learned that a faux bachelorette party is a great way to get free drinks

That night we also learned what not to wear to a bar and that a $75 mullet is still a mullet.

The third lesson of the night is that too much alcohol makes you end up with pictures like this:
and like this:

The final lesson learned is that the only cure for a hangover that is still around at 8 pm the following day is Taco Cabana.
Then John and I then went to the Spurs Game

and the Spurs WON! and everything was right again in the world

Soon after our AC was finally fixed! YAY! and everything stayed right with the world.
Then we went to the Spurs game again because everyone was jealous that we went to the Spurs game.

and the Spurs won again! Continuing to make everything right in the world

Then I got home and found out my cell phone was gone (aka stolen and I hope whoever the loser is that has it enjoyed the lovely voicemail from my insurance agent) and all was NOT right with the world.
After a quick lunch trip to the West Side I had a new phone:

Old Phone New Phone
I actually miss the blue!
I probably also still need your phone number so be sure to send it to me.
and for now.....that is all.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Look! It's Riley's Twin!

In case you want your own little shit head...
Allison on the left, Riley (back when he still had his real eye) on the right. Wouldn't they make such cute little friends? All small and black wearin' their Spurs colors?

Too bad John says I can't have another dog. You can have Allison though if you adopt her from the Animal Defense League. When you do we can have play dates and she and Riley can become best friends!

I also found this one of Riley (with his fake eye). Why does he always have the "momma, youse crazy!" look on his face?
Or it's the pissed off face:
I guess it's better than Reese who always looks high in pictures:

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Things Recently Learned

1. It takes quite a bit of talent to sit Indian Style on an exercise ball.

2. My coworker walking into my office offering me a 1lb bag of beef jerkey no longer surprises me.

3. Making fries in the toaster over will not happen if the toaster oven is not plugged in.

4. Chili will not heat up on the stove if the burner is not turned on either.

5. Do not use all your cheese to make cheese fries when you're also making chili cheese dogs.

6. My husband is suffering more than me with the lack of AC because his work refuses to put an AC in his work truck.

7. Faking a bachelorette party can easily be done by a bunch of drunk girls at a west side Wal-Mart.
8. Lunch at Tip Top can solve everything.

Monday, May 05, 2008

$730 Later....

and we will have AC again! We FINALLY got everything worked out with the warranty company. They're buying us a new unit and paying for the labor, but OF COURSE, they don't cover all the little things that need to be done to get the unit into the closet and up and running. The AC guys are letting us put part of the cleaning fee towards the uncovered costs (this is after I got them to knock off $250 off the cleaning fee) and he gave us about another $100 discount, so it's not THAT bad. Actually things could be thousands of dollars worse. So at the most it will be 2 more days. 2 more days and we'll have AC again. Thank GOD it's not August. Today is day 4 and I think John and I would have killed eachother by now if it was August. Thank you Uncle Sam for my Stimulus Check. You are stimulating cold air into my house and I appreciate it. Now if only you would send me my check on time (oh wait, it's already too late for that) I wouldn't have to worry about floating a $730 check until you decide to finally pay me.

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